You don’t have to raise your voice to shut someone down—just use the right words.
Toxic co-workers have a special talent for getting under your skin. They know how to twist compliments into insults, insert doubt into your accomplishments, and chip away at your confidence one side comment at a time. The worst part is, they often do it in subtle, sneaky ways that make you feel like overreacting if you call them out. But staying silent gives them more power than they deserve.
You don’t need to be aggressive or dramatic to hold your ground. Sometimes, all it takes is a calm, confident phrase that stops them in their tracks and reminds them who they’re dealing with. These aren’t clapbacks for the breakroom—these are power moves for keeping your dignity intact while making it clear you won’t tolerate their nonsense. Here are 15 phrases that shut down undermining co-workers without starting a war—and help you walk away feeling in control.
1. “That sounded like a dig—was that your intention?”
This phrase forces them to own their words in real time. Most people who throw shade aren’t prepared to be called out directly and calmly. By framing it as a question, you take away their ability to hide behind sarcasm or pretend you misunderstood.
You’re not attacking, just asking for clarity—and that makes it much harder for them to play innocent. The moment they have to explain their tone or intentions out loud, the energy shifts. You’ve taken control of the conversation without matching their negativity, which can be even more powerful than snapping back, according to the Crystal Raypole at Healthline.
2. “Interesting perspective—does that approach usually work for you?”
Instead of going on the defensive, this phrase flips the dynamic and puts the spotlight on them. It’s polite, but with just enough edge to signal that you’re not impressed.
It can stop unsolicited criticism or patronizing advice right in its tracks. You’re subtly questioning their credibility without outright dismissing them, which often rattles people who rely on arrogance to mask their insecurity, as reported by Julia Lyubchenko and Jennifer Mueller at WikiHow. It also shows you’re not easily shaken by a strong opinion—you’re willing to push back, thoughtfully and firmly.
3. “I’m comfortable with how I handled it.”
Toxic co-workers love to second-guess your decisions, especially in front of others. Instead of justifying yourself or getting dragged into a debate, a simple phrase like this ends the discussion.
It makes it clear that you’re confident in your judgment and aren’t interested in their critique. It’s direct, self-assured, and gives them nowhere to go with their commentary. You don’t have to argue—just stand firm and let the silence do the rest, as stated by Amy Morin at CNBC.
4. “Thanks for your feedback—I’ll consider it if it becomes relevant.”
This one’s gold for dealing with those who offer feedback no one asked for. It’s professional on the surface, but also makes it clear that their opinion isn’t automatically valuable to you.
It creates distance while maintaining your cool. You acknowledge their input without agreeing with it or giving it weight. It’s a great phrase for boundary-setting in collaborative environments where people sometimes confuse authority with entitlement.
5. “I’ve got it covered, but I’ll reach out if I need support.”
When someone insists on inserting themselves into your tasks or decisions, this is a polite but firm way to shut it down. It establishes independence and confidence while leaving the door open—on your terms.
It’s especially helpful with co-workers who disguise their control issues as “helpfulness.” You’re making it clear that you’re capable, and you’ll let them know if and when their input is required. That takes the power out of their hands and puts it squarely in yours.
6. “Let’s stick to the facts and keep this professional.”
This one is a strong redirect when things get passive-aggressive or unnecessarily personal. It brings the conversation back to where it should’ve been in the first place—objective and respectful.
It also signals that you won’t play into their drama. You’re not there to trade barbs or decode their tone—you’re there to get work done. If they’re trying to rile you up, this statement kills their momentum fast.
7. “I don’t find comments like that helpful—do you?”
Sometimes people throw out jabs and assume no one will question them. This phrase puts the burden of justification on them.
It’s powerful because it doesn’t accuse—it asks. And if their comment was inappropriate or unnecessary, they now have to explain why it was supposed to be useful. That discomfort can be enough to make them think twice before trying to undermine you again.
8. “I prefer to focus on solutions—are we moving in that direction?”
When someone’s goal is to criticize rather than collaborate, this phrase calls it out without sounding defensive. It steers the conversation back toward progress, and quietly points out that they’re not helping.
It’s a subtle but effective way to shut down finger-pointing or blame. If they have something valuable to contribute, they’ll step up. If they don’t, they’ll either pivot or back off. Either way, you win.
9. “Let’s circle back when you’re ready to have a constructive conversation.”
If things start veering into hostility or unproductive nitpicking, this gives you a graceful exit without escalating the situation. You’re not storming off—you’re pausing the interaction until they’re in a better headspace.
It’s a boundary with teeth. You’re letting them know that you won’t engage in pointless conflict, and you’ll re-engage only when they’re ready to show up like a grown-up. That puts pressure on them to manage their tone if they want to be heard.
10. “I’m not sure what your goal is with that comment—can you clarify?”
Backhanded remarks and passive-aggressive digs thrive on ambiguity. This phrase takes that away by forcing them to be clear about their intent.
It’s disarming because it puts the responsibility on them to explain themselves without giving you anything concrete to push back against. If they were trying to be clever or cutting, now they’ve got to walk it back or own it—either way, the power play collapses.
11. “I’m not available for that kind of energy today.”
This is a gentle but direct refusal to engage with negativity. It’s great for moments when someone is trying to bait you or shift the mood of a room with gossip, sarcasm, or low-key hostility.
You’re not attacking—they might even laugh it off—but the message lands. You’re setting the tone and making it clear that your boundaries aren’t optional. People who thrive on tearing others down don’t know what to do when someone just calmly walks away from the nonsense.
12. “If that’s your opinion, you’re welcome to it—but it’s not mine.”
This one is short, cool, and confident. It’s a great way to disagree without getting defensive or emotional. You’re not trying to change their mind, you’re just stating that their opinion has no bearing on your reality.
It works especially well when people try to impose their judgment on your work, your personality, or your decisions. Let them own their opinion—and then walk right past it.
13. “You seem to have a lot to say about me—should I be flattered?”
There’s nothing quite like using humor to deflate a toxic co-worker’s sense of power. This one walks the line between sarcasm and charm, and it instantly shifts the vibe.
It subtly reminds them that they’re investing a lot of time and energy into tearing you down, which usually means you’re the one doing something right. A light smile when you say it sends the message that their efforts aren’t landing the way they hoped.
14. “I’m not sure what you’re trying to accomplish here.”
If a co-worker’s behavior is out of line but not overtly hostile, this phrase makes them stop and examine their own motives. It’s especially useful when they’re being snide, condescending, or controlling.
You’re not accusing or confronting—you’re just shining a light on the fact that their behavior isn’t helpful or professional. It shifts the dynamic back in your favor and signals that you’re paying attention.
15. “Let’s keep this about the work—not personal opinions.”
People who tear others down often hide behind “just being honest” or “offering feedback,” when what they’re really doing is making things personal. This phrase is your reset button.
It calmly reminds them that you’re not there to entertain their judgments or biases. You’re there to do your job. By keeping the focus on the task, you take away the emotional fuel they’re hoping to use to throw you off.
You don’t need to be the loudest voice in the room to command respect. With the right phrase, delivered at the right moment, you can make it crystal clear: tearing you down won’t work, and it never will.