Building genuine connections is easier when you stop trying to impress everyone in the room.
Networking gets a bad rap—and for good reason. Too many people associate it with stiff handshakes, awkward small talk, and phony self-promotion. It can feel transactional, forced, or just flat-out fake. But real networking doesn’t have to feel like a job interview in disguise. In fact, the best connections happen when you’re just being yourself and treating people like, well… people.
The truth is, meaningful networking has more to do with curiosity and generosity than with perfectly crafted elevator pitches. It’s about building trust, not building a contact list. When you shift your focus away from what you can get and toward how you can connect, things start to feel natural. You begin to create relationships that actually last—and those are the ones that end up mattering most. Here are 12 ways to make networking feel less like a chore and more like a conversation you’d want to keep having.
1. Stop pitching and start listening instead.
When you walk into a networking event with a mental script and a mission to “sell yourself,” it shows—and it often turns people off. Instead of launching into your qualifications or accomplishments, focus on being genuinely curious. Ask people about their work, their interests, or how they ended up in the room. People like to talk about themselves, and giving them space to do that builds instant rapport.
Listening creates connection, according to Nicolas Cole at Inc.com. You’ll be surprised what people open up about when they don’t feel like they’re being pitched to. The bonus? The more you know about someone, the easier it is to find real common ground. Networking becomes way less awkward when the conversation flows naturally instead of feeling like a sales call.
2. Find your people, not just the most powerful ones.
Chasing the biggest name in the room might seem like the smart move, but it often leads to superficial interactions. Focus instead on connecting with people you actually enjoy talking to—even if they don’t have flashy titles or a giant following. Real relationships grow faster when there’s chemistry and mutual respect, as reported by the authors at Indeed.
Your “network” doesn’t need to be full of celebrities or executives. It needs to be filled with people who get you, support you, and want to grow alongside you. Some of the best collaborations and opportunities come from peers who rise together—not gatekeepers holding the keys to something you’re not even sure you want.
3. Be yourself instead of playing a role.
Trying to sound polished, perfect, or overly professional often creates distance. You’re a human being, not a brand deck. When you relax into your personality—quirks and all—you become more relatable. People are drawn to authenticity because it makes them feel safe to be themselves too.
You don’t need to impress anyone with buzzwords or big claims. Just be present. Share stories, laugh a little, and don’t be afraid to admit what you’re still figuring out. When you’re real, you invite real conversations—and that’s the kind of networking that actually sticks, as stated by Crispino at Wishup.
4. Follow up like a friend, not a salesperson.
A lot of people drop the ball after meeting someone. They collect a name, maybe a business card, and then do nothing with it. Following up doesn’t have to be weird or pushy. A short message, a shared article, or a “Hey, I really enjoyed our conversation” email can go a long way.
Think of your follow-up as a way to keep the conversation going, not close a deal. The tone should be casual and personal. If you mentioned something they were working on, check in about it. If they gave you advice, let them know how it helped. Small gestures build long-term relationships better than aggressive asks.
5. Give more than you ask for.
People remember those who show up with value—not just requests. If you have a skill, resource, or connection that might help someone, offer it freely. Being generous without keeping score is one of the fastest ways to build trust and respect.
This doesn’t mean giving away your time or work for free. It means thinking beyond your own goals. Share someone’s project, make an intro, or just show support when they need it. When you approach networking with a “how can I help?” mindset, people are more likely to want to help you, too—but that’s not the point. The point is building a network of mutual care.
6. Attend smaller events that allow for real conversation.
Huge conferences and networking mixers can be overwhelming and impersonal. It’s tough to make meaningful connections when the room is packed and the conversations are surface-level. Smaller gatherings—like workshops, roundtables, or intimate meetups—are often better for building real relationships.
You get more time with fewer people, which allows for deeper conversations. There’s less pressure to impress and more room to actually connect. These kinds of settings also tend to attract people who are there for the same reasons you are: to learn, to grow, and to meet good humans—not just collect business cards.
7. Be curious instead of trying to be interesting.
It’s easy to feel like you have to prove yourself during networking conversations, but constantly trying to be impressive can come off as self-absorbed. Instead of stressing about sounding interesting, focus on being curious. Ask thoughtful questions, follow up with genuine interest, and really listen to the answers.
Curiosity creates connection because it shows you care about more than just your own goals. It also takes the pressure off of performing. You’re not on stage—you’re in a conversation. The more interested you are in others, the more memorable you become.
8. Use social media to build relationships, not just followers.
Social media is more than just a highlight reel—it can be a powerful networking tool when used thoughtfully. Instead of focusing on likes or follower counts, use it to engage with people you respect. Comment on their posts, share insights, and respond to their stories like a person, not a fan.
DMs can be the digital version of saying, “Hey, I liked what you said—let’s talk more.” You don’t have to ask for anything right away. Just connect. Over time, those digital conversations can turn into real ones, and online relationships can evolve into collaborations, friendships, or mentorships that actually matter.
9. Normalize talking about what you don’t know.
You don’t have to be the smartest person in the room to have a valuable conversation. Admitting what you don’t know or what you’re curious to learn creates room for honesty. It invites people to share knowledge and helps you connect on a more human level.
Pretending you’ve got it all figured out might protect your ego, but it doesn’t invite connection. Vulnerability, when appropriate, can be a huge asset. It shows confidence, not weakness—and it helps other people feel comfortable being real with you in return.
10. Follow the energy, not the agenda.
Sometimes the best conversations are the ones you didn’t plan. Maybe you came to an event to meet someone specific but end up chatting with someone unexpected—and it just clicks. Trust that instinct. Real connection doesn’t always come from sticking to a script.
If a conversation has good energy, lean into it. You never know where it could lead. Some of the most valuable people in your network might not check the boxes you had in mind, but they show up with the right vibe—and that often matters more than a job title or business card.
11. Practice showing up consistently, even when nothing’s urgent.
Networking isn’t a one-and-done thing. It’s about building relationships over time, which means staying in touch even when you don’t “need” anything. Check in occasionally, send a message just to say hi, or show support for someone’s new project. Little moments of connection keep the relationship alive.
Consistency builds trust. You don’t have to talk every week, but you also don’t want to disappear for years and suddenly show up asking for a favor. Stay present in small ways. People remember who shows up, not just who shows up when it’s convenient.
12. Be patient—real connection takes time.
Not every conversation will lead to a big opportunity or instant friendship. Some connections take time to grow. That’s okay. The key is showing up with intention and being open to what unfolds. Good relationships are built slowly, through shared experiences and trust—not fast-track networking tricks.
Be patient with the process and with yourself. You’re not failing if you don’t walk away with ten new contacts. Even one meaningful conversation is worth more than a stack of business cards. Focus on connection, not collection. That’s where the real magic happens.