Working under a millennial boss who mentally checks out is a lesson in emotional gymnastics.
You walk into meetings only to realize your manager is physically present but mentally miles away. Dead eyes, vague feedback, and that eerie sense that no one’s really captaining the ship. It’s not personal—but it’s exhausting. You’re left trying to read between the lines of Slack messages that say nothing and trying to make decisions in the fog.
It’s not your job to fix them, but it is your job to protect your peace. These moves will help you do just that.
1. Accept that you’re the adult in the room now.
It’s a weird shift when you realize your manager isn’t exactly managing. You can either spiral into frustration or take a quiet breath and own it. No one wants to be the default grown-up, but someone’s got to keep the wheels turning. This doesn’t mean overextending or playing therapist—it means being the one who notices the details, sets the deadlines, and makes sure the right people talk to each other. You won’t get a trophy for doing their job, but you will stay sane by not waiting around for someone to snap out of a fog they never acknowledge.
2. Stop taking the lack of feedback personally.
Dissociation doesn’t look like yelling or criticism—it looks like silence. Long stretches with no comment on your work, glazed-over nods in meetings, missed follow-ups. It’s easy to assume it’s about you. But chances are, your boss is deep in their own spiral and can’t access the part of their brain that registers your effort. That doesn’t make it okay—it just means you need to separate your value from their attention span. Keep records of your wins. Track your progress. Validate yourself. You don’t need their engagement to know you’re doing the job right.
3. Set micro-boundaries before resentment builds.
The more checked-out your boss gets, the more tempting it is to quietly absorb all the fallout. A last-minute deadline here, a vague task assignment there—it builds. Fast. The trick is to set small, consistent boundaries before your sanity erodes. Clarify priorities. Ask for timelines in writing. Gently—but firmly—redirect anything that’s not yours to handle. You’re not being difficult. You’re preventing burnout. Micro-boundaries might feel awkward at first, especially when your boss is in a fog, but they’ll save you the emotional labor of constantly cleaning up someone else’s mess.
4. Document everything like your career depends on it.
When your boss is halfway tuned out, accountability gets slippery. Suddenly, no one remembers who said what, deadlines vanish into thin air, and projects morph into confusion. That’s where your paper trail comes in. Meeting notes, task confirmations, updates—write it all down. Send follow-up emails, even if they go unanswered. This isn’t about being petty. It’s about covering your ass. If decisions get reversed or mistakes get blamed on you, you’ve got receipts. And in a workplace full of fog, clarity—your own—is your best tool for survival and growth.
5. Create your own feedback loops.
Waiting around for validation from someone who’s emotionally MIA is a shortcut to frustration. Instead, build your own system for checking your progress. Schedule time with colleagues who actually respond. Track key metrics so you can see your wins in real numbers. Reflect weekly on what worked and what didn’t. It’s annoying to self-manage when you have a manager, but it’s also empowering. You’ll start to see yourself less as someone begging for approval and more as someone running a tight ship, no matter how chaotic things get above deck.
6. Limit emotional investment—but stay professionally sharp.
It’s easy to slip into apathy when your boss feels like a ghost. But giving up mentally won’t help your long game. You can disengage emotionally without lowering your standards. That means doing good work, keeping your name clean, and resisting the urge to sabotage yourself just because your leadership is a mess. You’re not doing this for them—you’re doing it for your reputation, your career, and your peace of mind. You don’t have to care deeply about their silence, but you should care deeply about how you carry yourself despite it.
7. Have your exit plan ready—even if you don’t need it yet.
This doesn’t mean quitting tomorrow. It means building your parachute while the sky is still calm. Keep your résumé fresh. Stay in touch with contacts. Pay attention to what roles make you feel energized. There’s a difference between surviving and growing, and sometimes you can only do the former under a dissociative boss. Having an exit strategy gives you leverage—and a little bit of mental relief. Knowing you can leave if things go south makes it easier to stay while keeping your sanity intact. You’re not stuck. You’re just choosing wisely.