Criticism at work doesn’t have to wreck your confidence.
Criticism can sting, especially when you’ve poured energy into something and expected praise instead. Your gut might tighten, your mind might race, and before you know it, you’re mentally defending yourself or shutting down. But the truth is, handling criticism well—especially at work—is a skill that separates those who grow from those who stay stuck. You can’t control every comment that comes your way, but you can absolutely decide how you respond to it.
When you learn to take feedback in stride, even when it’s poorly delivered or unfair, you protect your peace and improve your performance. It doesn’t mean you have to agree with every word, but learning how to respond calmly and constructively can shift the dynamic. Whether it’s coming from a boss, coworker, or client, thoughtful responses to criticism can build respect, show emotional intelligence, and even open doors. Here are 12 smart ways to respond when someone points out your mistakes or offers unsolicited opinions on your work.
1. Pause before reacting to collect your thoughts.
The worst thing you can do is react instantly. Even if the comment feels unfair or hits a nerve, giving yourself a few seconds to breathe can make all the difference. That short pause helps you switch from a defensive mindset to a more grounded one. Your first reaction is usually emotional—but what matters more is your second response, the one you’ve thought through. Taking a beat shows maturity, and it signals to others that you’re capable of handling hard conversations with grace, according to the authors at Indeed.
It’s easy to jump in with excuses or fight back, especially if you feel misunderstood. But staying quiet for just a moment allows you to observe what’s really going on. Is the criticism valid? Is the person projecting their stress? Use that moment to decide how to engage instead of diving straight into damage control. You don’t have to respond immediately, and sometimes a measured pause speaks louder than a quick comeback.
2. Ask for clarification instead of making assumptions.
Sometimes what sounds like an insult is actually just awkward wording or poor delivery. Before jumping to conclusions, ask a question to clarify the intent. You might say, “Can you help me understand what you meant by that?” or “Can you give me an example of what you’re referring to?” This not only gives the other person a chance to explain, but it also shows that you’re taking the feedback seriously without getting defensive, as reported by Kim Scott at Radical Candor.
Asking questions turns the conversation into a dialogue rather than a confrontation. It keeps things grounded and shows that you’re open to learning and improving. Even if the criticism isn’t easy to hear, a clarifying question can reveal something useful beneath the surface. Plus, it gives you time to think and shifts the focus toward understanding rather than reacting emotionally.
3. Separate your identity from your performance.
It’s easy to blur the line between what you do and who you are. But criticism of your work isn’t a statement about your worth as a person. You might feel attacked, especially if you care deeply about your role, but you’re not your job title, your project, or your last presentation. Reminding yourself of that distinction helps you respond more rationally and less emotionally, as stated by the authors at Engage for Success.
If you let every bit of feedback feel like a personal attack, you’ll exhaust yourself trying to prove your value. That kind of mindset keeps you stuck in survival mode. Instead, focus on the task or behavior being critiqued. What can be tweaked? What can be improved? This approach gives you room to grow without getting wrapped up in shame or self-doubt.
4. Consider the source before internalizing the comment.
Not all feedback is created equal. If it’s coming from someone who doesn’t know your role, your effort, or your goals, weigh it lightly. On the flip side, if the criticism is coming from someone whose opinion you respect—even if it stings—there may be something valuable in it. Being selective about whose input you absorb helps protect your confidence while still keeping you open to growth.
You don’t owe every critic your full attention. Take a moment to ask yourself if this person has your best interest in mind. Are they usually constructive, or do they tend to nitpick? That quick filter can help you decide how much weight to give their opinion. Just because someone has something to say doesn’t mean you have to carry it around all day.
5. Thank the person for their input—even if you’re fuming inside.
Saying “thanks” doesn’t mean you agree. It just shows you’re mature enough to handle feedback like a pro. A simple “I appreciate the feedback” or “Thanks for letting me know” keeps the conversation respectful and gives you space to decide what to do with the information later. It’s a way to keep things cool without burning bridges.
Even if the delivery was rough or the timing was awful, acknowledging the effort it took to speak up can be a power move. You stay composed, and you demonstrate that you’re capable of listening without making it personal. Later, you can process what was said and decide if it’s worth acting on—or simply letting it go.
6. Reframe the criticism as an opportunity to learn.
It sounds basic, but mindset matters. If you frame every piece of criticism as an attack, you’re going to feel constantly under siege. But if you choose to view it as a chance to improve—even if it was badly phrased or totally unexpected—you can pull something useful from the experience. Every tough comment is a potential mirror, showing you where there’s room to sharpen your skills or rethink your approach.
This isn’t about fake positivity or pretending everything is fine. It’s about extracting a nugget of value so the criticism doesn’t go to waste. Even if 90% of what was said is off-base, that last 10% might be exactly what you needed to hear. Training yourself to look for that hidden insight can turn tough feedback into a long-term advantage.
7. Own what’s true and let the rest go.
Sometimes criticism is partly true, even if it’s delivered with a side of attitude. Your job is to separate the helpful part from the fluff or negativity that came with it. If there’s something in the message you can take responsibility for, own it without excuse. At the same time, don’t waste energy defending yourself against parts that don’t apply or weren’t fair.
You’re allowed to say, “I can see how that might have come across that way,” without taking full blame. You’re also allowed to dismiss parts of the comment that feel irrelevant or exaggerated. This approach keeps you centered—you’re not rejecting everything out of pride, and you’re not absorbing all of it out of guilt. It’s a balanced way to handle imperfect feedback.
8. Keep your body language open and calm.
People notice more than just your words. Crossing your arms, rolling your eyes, or sighing loudly sends a clear message that you’re closed off to what’s being said. Even if you’re upset, aim for open body language: maintain eye contact, nod occasionally, and sit or stand in a relaxed but attentive way. These small gestures can shift the entire tone of the conversation.
You might feel like clamming up or walking away, but staying physically present shows strength and composure. It also buys you time—staying still and grounded helps regulate your nervous system, which makes it easier to think clearly. When your body stays calm, your mind is more likely to follow. And that gives you a better shot at responding thoughtfully rather than reacting impulsively.
9. Don’t rush to apologize just to smooth things over.
There’s a big difference between taking responsibility and apologizing out of discomfort. If you apologize too quickly, especially when you’re not sure you did anything wrong, it can send the message that you’re unsure of yourself or too eager to please. Take a moment to process the feedback before jumping to say “I’m sorry.” Ask yourself if an apology is truly warranted or if the situation calls for something else.
Sometimes the best response is, “Thanks for the feedback—I’ll think about that,” instead of a rushed apology. That gives you room to reflect and decide your next steps without sounding guilty for no reason. It also sends a signal that you’re thoughtful and not just reacting out of fear. Apologize when it matters, not just to make awkwardness go away.
10. Use the feedback to have a deeper conversation.
If the criticism touches on something recurring or bigger than a one-time mistake, consider using it as an entry point for a deeper discussion. Maybe there are misunderstandings about your role, unclear expectations, or broader team issues. A thoughtful follow-up can help uncover root causes and even strengthen your working relationship with the person who gave the feedback.
You could say something like, “I’ve been thinking about what you said the other day—can we talk more about how I can improve in that area?” This opens the door to collaboration instead of tension. It shows you care about getting it right, and it might even prompt the other person to reflect on how they deliver criticism. Sometimes the best growth comes from uncomfortable conversations.
11. Talk it over with someone you trust.
Feedback can be hard to interpret in the moment. Afterward, talking it through with a trusted coworker, mentor, or friend can help you make sense of it. They might offer a different perspective, help you filter out what’s useful, and remind you not to take it too personally. Just make sure it’s someone who will be honest with you—not just someone who’ll automatically take your side.
A second opinion can bring clarity. Maybe you overreacted. Maybe the other person was out of line. Maybe both things are true. A thoughtful outsider can help you hold those nuances without getting stuck in black-and-white thinking. It also gives you a space to process your emotions without unloading them in the workplace, which is a win for everyone.
12. Know when to let it go and move on.
Not every piece of criticism needs a response, a fix, or a long reflection. Sometimes, the healthiest thing you can do is let it go. Maybe the comment came from someone who was having a bad day, or maybe it was poorly timed and unnecessary. You don’t have to carry every critique with you. If it doesn’t feel helpful or relevant, give yourself permission to drop it and move forward.
Holding onto criticism too tightly can weigh you down and mess with your focus. Your energy is better spent doing good work than replaying one awkward moment in your head all week. The ability to move on—without bitterness or denial—is a quiet kind of power. It keeps your momentum intact and your attention on what really matters.